MyLifeIsAverage: Life is pretty normal today.
Sometimes, an amusing story is all you need … and real life can be pretty funny. Here are some sample:
Today, I decided to have some fun at the mall by walking up to random women, and saying in a stern voice, "I know about the affair." Four said they didn't know what I was talking about, five begged me not to tell their husbands, and three women paid me off. New hobby? I think so. MLIA
Today I went to the store and bought a pomegranate. It came with a pamphlet on how to eat it. I scoffed at the idea of needing a manual for a piece of fruit until I realized I had no clue how to get the damn thing open. MLIA
Today I was tired of my friends sneaking up on me while I studied in my dorm room. So I tied a trip line across the entrance. It works beautifully. MLIA
Today, I decided to put an extra credit question on my students' test: "What weighs more: one pound of butter or one pound of feathers?" Half of the class got it wrong-I teach at a college. MLIA
Today, I went out to eat with my dad at a nice restaurant. The waitress came to the table and said, "Aww, is he your dad?" And I said, "Nah, he's just some guy I met on the internet." The look on her face made my day. MLIA.
Today, I had to walk through a dodgy part of town at night, and passed a prostitute. I'm a rugby player and I was wearing my jersey, she asked "Hey big boy, you play sports?" I didn't want any part of her, but wanting to be polite, I responded "Yeah, I play for my university rugby team, I'm the hooker." After realizing what I just said, I awkwardly walked away. MLIA.
