Are Your FAMILY and FRIENDS Making You FAT? (part 2)

It’s my fault. When my daughter comes home, she expects ice cream. This is the female bonding I taught her – girl-talk over brownies. I created this problem.  Now, I want to change … or I feel I ought to change. Perhaps “want” isn't the right word. I “want” to climb into a vat of fudge and emerge a healthy weight. Wanting and reality are 2 different things.

Just because I’m trying to change, doesn’t mean the people around me are interested. They were comfortable with fat-me. So was I … but it was really unhealthy. I feel better now. The looking better part is just a bonus.


As I’ve lost weight, I noticed a change in some of my acquaintances. Fat people are a lower form of life – the only group it’s socially acceptable to condemn for their appearance. If you have to feel superior to someone, pick a fat gal. Family members. Co-workers. Clients. The pecking order in their minds changed, when I reached an average weight. Women, who used to weigh less than me, have the biggest adjustment. They're worried. What if I weigh less than them now?


Then, there are the enablers. “You don’t want to lose too much.” “Don’t pay any attention to those height and weight charts.” “Haven’t you lost enough?” Maybe they’re trying to understand? Maybe.


Change isn’t just hard internally. Ask someone in AA. Sometimes, the people around you make it more difficult.

Are FRIENDS and FAMILY Making You FAT? (part 1)

It’s not celebration without overeating. A social gathering in more fun if you indulge in junk food … at least seconds … maybe appetizers … especially dessert. I’m not saying this is how it OUGHT to be. But this is how I react, and it’s making it hard to keep losing

I started out 110 pounds overweight. Cutting back most of the time was all I needed to lose. Now it’s different. With these last 30 pounds, I need to be on task all the time. I’m having trouble with that.


Today is Michele’s 39th birthday. We celebrated at the Cellar. (Tradition in the sales department is the birthday girl picks the restaurant. The person with the last birthday buys her lunch.) All those wonderful Italian aromas started in the parking lot. Everybody else got calzones – spinach and artichoke or meatball, or pineapple, tomato and cheese. I was really hungry, but I’m trying to focuses on the calories. I had a salad with citrus dressing, but all I could smell was the calzones. Some people feel noble when they eat less than their friends, maybe even a little superior. I just feel like I didn’t do anything special.


Everyone has associations with food. One of mine is social eating. I keep trying to picture how I will celebrate when I hit goal. Visualize my success. My imagination inevitably shows me bringing treats to work or going out to dinner. Not a good idea.


Losing weight involves more than exercise and counting calories. I have to confront the reasons I over eat.