Diet Quote from Totie Fields

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. -- Totie Fields

Diet Quote from Jackie Gleason

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason

Diet Quote from Totie Fields

A diet is a system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer. -- Totie Fields

Exercise Quote from Evan Eser

Walking isn't a lost art -- one must, by some means, get to the garage. - Evan Esar

Diet Quote from Cyril Connolly

Obesity is a mental state, a disease brought on by boredom and disappointment. ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave.

FUNNY: Last Week on Late Night

'In light of the fact that Tiger has comported himself in a manner utterly lacking in character, dignity, and ethical integrity, I am withdrawing Tiger Woods from consideration for the Congressional Gold Medal and instead I'm recommending that he run for Congress.'" - A California congressman, Joe Baca, as quoted by Jimmy Kimmel

"Congress was hard at work today trying to come up with a fair playoff system for college football. Congress was working on this. Meanwhile, the NCAA spent the afternoon kicking around ideas for how to win the war in Afghanistan." -Jimmy Fallon

"The Salahis -- now these are the people that crashed the state dinner at the White House for the prime minister of India. It looks like they're going to be subpoenaed now by the House Homeland Security committee, and I'm thinking why bother? They'd probably show up anyway." -David Letterman

"Rush Limbaugh says black people are depressed because President Obama isn't doing a very good job. That proving, once again, that no one has their finger on the pulse of the African-American community like Rush Limbaugh." -Conan O'Brien

"Some people are upset about President Obama's prime time speech tonight because it bumped ABC's airing of 'A Charlie Brown Christmas,' or as Fox News reported it, 'Obama ruins Christmas for a depressed bald kid.'" -Conan O'Brien

"In his speech on the economy, President Obama said that we have to 'continue to spend our way out' of the recession. Now, I don't know much about economics, but aren't we like a trillion dollars in debt? Spending our way out of the recession? Isn't that like trying to drink your way out of alcoholism? I'm just saying." -Jay Leno

"New reports on Sarah Palin's 'Going Rogue' bus tour. They say she's been traveling on private planes to various stops and then just hops in the bus at the local town. So, let's see what you got. You have Sarah Palin, who's no longer governor, who's promoting a book she didn't actually write by going on a bus tour which is not really a bus. Her big complaint? Politicians who aren't real." -Jay Leno

"Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work." -Jay Leno

"Everybody's talking about President Obama's speech last night. He's sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. Right now, in Scandinavia, the Nobel Committee is really rethinking the whole peace prize." -Craig Ferguson

Exercise Quote from Chris Adams

People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that's the problem. ~Chris Adams

Diet Quote from Isaac Asimov

The first law of dietetics seems to be if it tastes good, it’s bad for you. - Isaac Asimov

Diet Quote from Kirstie Alley

I was really tired of words like 'plus size,' 'round' and 'large.' I thought, 'Come on, we're fat.' -- Kirstie Alley

Diet Quote from Marilu Henner

It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. -- Marilu Henner

Exercise Quote from Joey Adams

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all. ~Joey Adams

Quote for 12/2/09: Jeremiah on a Needle in the Haystack

Jeremiah: It's like lookin' for a needle in a haystack.

Kurdy: I guess we're gonna have to do it the way you find a needle in a haystack. Sit on it 'till somethin' sticks us in the ass.
 
 - Jeremiah, The Face in the Mirror

Quote for 12/1/09: Photography as Art

The accomplishment of the photograph has to do with the beauty … the mystery. Without those, why care? The photograph – whatever way it’s inspiring – makes us care and that is where art comes in.


Rhea Van David Val – editor of the Image Collection from National Geographic
Interviewed on CBS Sunday Morning

Quote for 11/30/09: Bill Geist on Pie

Do you toss and turn at night worrying about where your next pie is coming from?

 --  Bill Geist on CBS Sunday Morning 11/22/09

Quote for 11/29/09: John Fitzgerald Kennedy on Thanksgiving

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Quote for 11/28/09: Irving Berlin on Thanks

Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I'd like to express my thanks - I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night. ~Irving Berlin

Quote for 11/27/09: Thanksgiving Toast

Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day! ~Thanksgiving toast, from the movie Sweet November

Quote for 11/26/09: Edward Sandford Martin on Gratitude

Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; but to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow. ~Edward Sandford Martin

Quote for 11/25/09: Irv Kupcinet on Holiday Eating

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. - Irv Kupcinet

Quote for 11/24/09: Kevin James on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants. ~Kevin James