FITNESS: Death by Pilate’s

Back in the BC (again, before children), I started my day at 6:00 with a Jane Fonda aerobics video. My kids laugh when I say this, but I was in good shape. Then, I got pregnant with Eric. She’d start that video with some simple neck exercises and I’d throw up in the first 5 minutes. I put on enough weight to give birth to grade school kid. After he was born, I lost part of it, but I was tired all the time. Then, I had Beth. I don’t remember if I tried very hard after that. In the beginning of my marriage, my husband told me I was fat and I cared. By this point, I was over it. About 10 years ago, I started walking in the morning and lost around 50 pounds. Then things got crazy at work and I stopped.

Today, I’m trying to undo … well Eric is 23, so I’m trying to undo 24 years of over eating and under exercising. I thought a year and a half on the treadmill would put me in pretty good shape. That was before Pilate’s.

I can do the arm workout. It burns … it burns a lot, but I’ve been doing some arm stuff on the treadmill since January, so there are a few muscles there. Not only can I touch my toes, but I can put my hands flat on the floor. It’s gardening. I have bad knees. I bend from the hips, when I weed instead of kneeling. The backs of my thighs are iron … but the inner thighs are a flabby mess.

I have big-gut-flat-butt syndrome. My abs are Jell-O. I’ve got nothing. As I have said before, this fat and I have been together a couple of decades. It will not go quietly. This is my third week, and I have yet to do the whole abs series. That’s my goal, and it may kill me. So if I suddenly quit posting, you’ll know what happened … death by Pilate’s.


The instructor and my friends have been very supportive. They keep telling me I’m getting better. It’s bull, but I don’t care. I WILL get better, but I am just not better yet. Still, I appreciate the kindness

FAT Goals: The Pilate’s Mirror

At 73 pounds lighter and an average dress size, I feel pretty slinky these days. I’m not afraid to look in my new full-length mirror. Then, I go to Pilate’s. Chubby thighs. Floppy arms and a thick middle. The Pilate’s mirror shows me a different perspective. I’m not looking for sympathy, just noting the contrast. I’ve improved compared to the way I was, but I still have a long way to go. It’s not a race. I’m not a failure, because I’m not losing the weight fast. What matters is I’m losing it.

My daughter force-fed me “What Not to Wear” until I quit postponing new clothes. Waiting until I was finished dieting was a dumb idea. (Beth would nod and make a wisecrack here. So would Stacy & Clinton.) Size 14s look silly wearing size 20 & 22. I have a new wardrobe now, and I like it. It feels wasteful buying clothes that will (hopefully) be too small next year. I've shopped sales and Goodwill, so I haven’t been too crazy.



Life is good, so I started to wonder, "Have I come far enough?" Some clients and co-workers have said, “don’t get carried away,” or “you don’t want to be too thin.” (Too thin is highly unlikely.) I’ve been encouraged to stop.



For 21 months, I’ve worked on this and had several goals. The first was to be an average size. Since I was a 12 before (and they say you never get back to the pre-baby weight), a size 14 seemed reasonable. I went through all that yesterday.



Then, it was to weight 150, the top of the height/weight charts for 5’8’and yes, the pre-baby weight. But I’m not 5”8 any more. I’ve shrunk. I don’t know if it’s age or all that fat dragging me down. (If I lose more, will I pop back up? Probably not.)



Then there’s the whole bone structure thing. Am I really big boned or just looking for an excuse?



I don’t care what the right number is. Not really. I just want a weight I can maintain. I love having energy again. Feeling healthy is better than chocolate. (Not that I don’t occasionally indulge.) I don’t want to go back to 270.



Just a Note: I've been able to do this for 21 months, because I’ve changed or am trying to. This isn’t an 800 or 900 calorie diet. I couldn’t keep that up. I’m ranging between 1500 and 1200 – pretty moderate. I’m trying to eat like a person who isn’t fat.