FEAR for Your FAMILY: Annie Le

In April of 2007, Seung-Hui Cho killed 32 people at VIT before committing suicide. In February 2008, a man walked into Cole Hall at Northern Illinois University and shot up a lecture. Six people died. Last Sunday, a missing Yale grad student’s body was found in the ceiling or wall of the university lab. It was Annie Le’s wedding day. The body count is lower, but this is still a parent’s nightmare. Is it any wonder we have trouble letting go?




The goal of raising children is to add a bright, interesting, productive human being to the universe … or something like that. No matter how good your intentions, you can’t insulate them with bubble wrap forever. The little birds have to fly free.



Even in normal times, this means uncomfortable conversations. I talked to my son about birth control after H.S. football practice. He chewed on his black mouth guard the whole time. It was distracting. I discovered he knew more about condoms than I did.



Since both kids are at college, these conversations have increased:

• People-you-meet-in-bars-may-not-be-that-nice-or-attractive-the-next-day
• Punching-the-door-after-your-roommate-didn’t-clean-the-bathroom-like-he-was-supposed-to-still-leaves-you-with-a-broken-hand
• The-person-you-love-in-high-school-may-not-be-the-person-you-love-later

Those chats are to be expected. (After the door-punching incident, I sang “he fought the door and the door won” all summer. No further lecture was needed.)



Oh sure, we’ve had “stranger danger” talks. It was even covered in pre-school. When looking at colleges, I asked questions about security, accompanied by eye rolls from both kids. But the man who killed Annie Le was not a stranger in the dark. But I don’t have any motherly wisdom for someone-you-see-every-day-may-try-to-kill-you.



I want to believe that most people are good and the world is a decent place. But some times it isn’t. A healthy sense of when to be suspicious is useful.



My heart goes out to Annie Le’s family and fiancé.

FAMILY: My Empty Nest

I’ve helped Beth move back to college 3 times. Freshman year, it was on a Saturday and it rained. Sophomore year, we did it on Friday and it rained. This year, she chose Wednesday and guess what? It still rained.

She packed up 2 cars and everything but the exercise bike fit in a 10 by 10 single. The bike is still in my car because I don’t think I can get it out. In fact, if I open the back doors, it slips out of position and I can’t get them shut.

Some people think being an empty nester is awful. Get over it! I’m fortunate to have 2 interesting kids, who are off leading their lives. Why shouldn’t I?

Being an empty nester means:

• If the radio was on classic rock when I left the car, it’ll be on classic rock when I get back in. Ditto for the gas tank and the position of the seat.


• There are no messes that I didn’t make (not counting the pets)


• I don’t trip over flip-flops and other booby traps.


• If there was plenty yesterday, it won’t be empty today.


• No glasses or silverware are hiding in far corners of the house.


• Significantly lower grocery bills and a fraction of the laundry.


• I can come home whenever I want.


• Suddenly, my available towels have doubled.

Of course, it also means

• I have to go back to cooking.


• I have to mow my yard again


• The First National Bank of Mom is seriously drained.


• I've lost my help in the garden.

Pat's Points: Observations on Life

The kids are back in college. Suddenly, I have a place to park my car and the wayward glasses have returned to the kitchen.




Never wash the car, when there's a crew working on your road.



Why buy an iron when you have a dryer and a wet sock?



Teach your children to play Tetras. It prepares them for college dorms.



It says something interesting about our country when the most profane word is the sex act. Songs, movies and novels are full of it. Advertising hints with enthusiasm. But we aren’t supposed to say it.



A good boss judges you by your work. A mediocre one judges you by his ego.



What idiot put Mother’s Day in May? It should be in August … on the first day of school.



Fat is profanity for the new millennium. It’s better to say “Fuck off,’ than “You’re fat.”



The only way that grilling is easier than using a stove is if your husband does it.



Think a circus can pack a lot of clowns in a little car? Watch your daughter pack up for college … or fill a closet.



Only a man would design a bathroom with a spacious area around the toilet and a narrow spot by the sink.



Big dogs are big cowards. Little dogs bark a good game.



Your tomboy has grown up when her nice tops out number her T-shirts.



When your children go back to college, they’ll miss the pets. They’ll miss the DVR. But they may not miss you. Your wallet, yes. You, not so much.