Thursday Double Feature Videos

LED Sheep - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rviEhw

New way to clean your monitor screen -  Http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf

Wednesday Morning Weigh-In

I got a gift.  I have not been good over the past week.  Steak for Christmas Eve dinner.  Chocolates.  Goodies in the break room.  Miraculously, I have not gained.  I'm still 191.   Now if I can just get back to losing 5 pounds a month, I could be at goal by the end of June.

Diet Quote from Jackie Gleason

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason

FAULTS and FAUX pas

For more images like this, go to http://www.glasbergen.com/

The days after Christmas are mine fields in advertising. Did you get all the Santa-gift-Christmas commercials out of the system? People often work late on Christmas Eve in hopes of NOT hearing holiday messages on the 26th. B100 missed some. Saturday, when Beth and I were on the way to the QC to shop, we heard a Christmas Eve bar party run every half hour – 2 days too late. One of the cable channels ran a holiday spot yesterday.

All holidays have a little of this effect. Even seasons. Fix your air conditioning in October. Snowmobiles in May. These are bad. But Christmas is an orgy of buying messages and therefore the time you’re most likely to miss something.

I’m grateful to Mandy, because I think we came through clean this year.

FUNNY Tuesday: Your Jiggling Jog

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, "Well, she looks good doesn't she."

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years ... just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

Monday's FAVORITE Web Site: Wine Library

A site for people who are interested in wine, but bored by wine snobs.
http://tv.winelibrary.com/

FINDING a FOOD Opportunity

Image from http://www.worth1000.com/

I try to plan … really, I do. Yogurt plus fruit for breakfast = 200 calories. Mid-morning … a couple of cups of coffee with creamer = 100. Lean Cuisine for lunch = 300. Afternoon snack = fruit or a 100 calorie pack. That leaves 400 to 500 for supper and another 100 for an evening snack. That’s the plan.
Then life happens. This time of year, the break room is full of goodies … brownies … fudge … iced sugar cookies. The “have-one-and-then-stop” philosophy does not work for me. Once the taste is in my mouth, I think about it a lot ... too much.

I’ve tried avoiding the break room. On a busy day that works, providing I don’t get a coffee urge … and no one mentions it to me. If I’m out seeing clients all morning, the announcers may eat everything before I hit the office. They frequently start between 4 and 5 a.m. At 10 or 11 a.m., they get the mid-afternoon munchies.

I have very little resistance to temptation … particularly sweets. I do not have a good strategy for this, but next week it will be over.

FRIDAY Fotos: Office Party

Brian (Mr. Plaid Shirt) is the program director.  That means the music, the promotions and anything that takes place over multiple shows is his baby.  He does a great job.  Any way,  he and the announcers got to talking about old school video games and Brian mentioned that he never had an Atari. He played at his friends house and always wanted one.  So LaGrow (the King of E-Bay) found one and we all gave it to Brian for Christmas.

FESTIVE and FUNNY: A Fireman's Christmas

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said, "See, it says right here ... The three wise man came from afar.

FUTILE Work Days

The first media to provide 24/7/365 access was radio. Today with voice tracking and other technology, holidays are easier on the announcing staff, but they were still all in today. Since they’re working, the sales staff is here, too.
There are 2 types of Christmas Eve hours – businesses that are closed and businesses that are swamped. And when they cease to be swamped, they’re closed, too. Neither wants to see a salesperson today. Black Friday is the same way.

There are commercials that need to be changed. No one wants to hear about Santa and gifts on the 26th. But those really should be done earlier, because the announcers need time to produce the commercials.

However in the name of treating everyone the same, here we all sit … wasting time.

Thursday Double FEATURE Videos

Wish You A Merry Chistmas -
Click on each reindeer after a short pause!
You can also click on Santa to make him stop dancing.
http://www.glenn.tapley.us/MC.swf

Christmas card from Ashland College in Ohio  - http://ecard.ashland.edu/2004admission/index.html

FESTIVE and FUNNY: Entering Heaven on Christmas

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied ..."They're Carol's."

Wednesday Morning Weight-In

I breifly visited 190, but now I'm back to 191.  I thought, "MaYbe I ought to take down the 80-pounds bit," but that's negative thinking.  I WILL get back there!

FESTIVE and FUNNY: 12 Redneck Days of Christmas

12 pack of Bud

11 wrestling tickets

10 cans of Copenhagen

9 years probation

8 table dancers

7 packs of Redman

6 cans of Spam

5 Flannel Shirts

4 mud tires

3 shotgun shells

2 hunting dogs

and a part to a Mustang GT

FRIDAY at the Gym

There’s something noble and long-suffering about going to the gym on a Friday night. That or it just shouts, “I HAVE NO LIFE.” Between moving Beth home from college and the office party, I missed 2 nights at the gym, so Pat, the martyr for her diet, went to the gym on Friday night.

There was no waiting. I got right on my favorite machine. In fact, there was only one other person there. We discussed our extreme self-sacrifice in the name of being slender. It’s a bond we’ll always share.

FESTIVE and FUNNY: Why Santa's Asking For A Raise

10. The hours, the weather, the trend toward smaller chimneys.
9. Nike won't give him a lucrative side-contract.
8. Reindeer and elves have unionized, driving up his cost.
7. New tax on flying sleighs.
6. Insurance for flying a sleigh has tripled over the past two years.
5. Needs extra cash to cover off-season gambling losses.
4. Air traffic controllers demanding higher kickbacks.
3. Cost of living increase at the North Pole.
2. Children don't leave as many cookies as they used to.
1. The Mrs. told him to.

FUNNy Tuesday: The 4 Major FOOD Groups

WHAT ARE THE FOUR MAJOR FOOD GROUPS?

For CHOCOHOLICS: DARK CHOCOLATE, WHITE CHOCOLATE, BROWNIES and FUDGE.

For HEAVIES: FAT, SALT, SUGAR, and CAFFEINE.

For BACHELORS: FAST, FROZEN, JUNK, and SPOILED.

For DRINKERS: MALT, BARLEY, HOPS, and YEAST

FOOD at the Office Party

The owner’s wife is a great gal. She invited all the staff from her husband’s 10 stations and her son’s 2 over for dinner. We often don’t have Christmas parties … partly because it’s so crazy in broadcasting at this time of year … and partly because our local GM is just not a party-planning guy. That’s not criticism. Neither am I. I’ve tried, but I don’t have any fun at my own parties – a bad sign.

Jane did most (maybe all) of the cooking herself. There was a big buffet and I kept trying to remember the 15 Tips for Restrained feasting.(http://fatfamilyotherfwords.blogspot.com/2009/11/fifteen-tips-for-restrained-feasting.html ) I took a small plate. Tried to focus on fruits and veggies. Then I found people in another part of the house to talk to. Had a lot of fun and really wasn’t tempted, because I could not see the goodies.

... UNTIL the last half hour. Yeah, I had a little wine. Everyone was into deserts. I have a serious sweet tooth … so I went back. I wasn’t too awful, but if I’d left a half hour earlier, I’d be several hundred calories lighter.

FESTIVE and FUNNY: The "Technical" Version of the Night Before Christmas

Sometime it's not what you do, it's HOW you do it. Here is the Night before Christmas as If Written By a Technical Writer for a Firm That Does US Government Contracting

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar meridian itself - thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer, piloted by a minuscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller. With his ungulate motive power traveling at what may possibly have been more vertiginous velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen - "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. - guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.

As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry by way of the smoke passage. He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebony residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.

His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The capillaries of his malar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the Prunus avium, or sweet cherry. His amusing sub- and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.

Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose grey fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly. His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container. He was, in short, neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side, he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless

Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle. Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt about-face, placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke passage. He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed. But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that self same assemblage, my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable period between sunset and dawn."

Monday's FEATURED Website: Despair.com

We've all seen those trite "motivational" posters. 
Despair.com mocks them with style.
Look and enjoy.  http://despair.com/

Diet Quote from Totie Fields

A diet is a system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer. -- Totie Fields

FUNNY: Last Week on Late Night

"Good news, ladies and gentlemen. Retail sales this year are up. That is fantastic news for the economy of China." -David Letterman

"Governor Schwarzenegger is in a bit of a feud with former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin right now. They're fighting about global warming. Palin says it isn't proven. Schwarzenegger said she's 'living in the Stone Age.' And Palin really should know not to mess with Arnold Schwarzenegger. This guy has been systematically terminating women named Sarah for many years now." -Jimmy Kimmel

"Well, according to our NBC affiliate in Wilmington, North Carolina, former Democratic presidential candidate John 'I am not the father' Edwards has reportedly bought a home for his former mistress. See, that's why John Edwards thinks there are two Americas. He's got two different women living in two different houses." -Jay Leno

"Hey, did you hear about those five American Muslims who went to Pakistan and tried to join up and become terrorists with al Qaeda? Well, they got rejected. Al Qaeda rejected them -- this is true -- because they lacked the proper credentials and references. Isn't that unbelievable? Do you realize it's harder to get into al Qaeda than it is to get into the White House? That is wrong. Ridiculous!" -Jay Leno

FRIDAY FOTOS: Christmas Past with my Work FAMILY

In 2003, the Laser was in the Galesburg Christmas Parade as the Rudolf TV Special.

Beth (13 or 14) is the soldier.

Eric Hansen is the elf that wanted to be a dentist.

LaGrow is the Abominable Snowman.

Brian is the Burl Ives, the narrator snowman.

In 2004, the WGIL group did a Peanut's Christmas.

It's Terry, Shannon, Will and I'm not sure who else.

Also in 2004, this is the Sales Sister's Christmas Party at Laurie's.

Left to Right: Molly (copy), Michele, Angie T., Angie B., Shannon (news), Laurie, Tracy and me.

Only 1/2 of us are still here.

My Changing FACE

BEFORE (January 2008)

I really don’t think I look that different. Sure, there’s less of me … and there'd better be. But clients keep telling me that they didn’t recognize me.

The people I work with went through this a year ago. They’d see me crossing the street or out of the corner of their eye and pause before they realized who it was.

We’ve been distributing Christmas gifts this week and I’m just dropping in without an appointment. Maybe it's because people aren’t expecting me. Often the source of the comment is a spouse or supervisor —not the individual who works directly with the advertising. Still, it’s been 3 I-didn’t-recognize-you’s this week, so there must be something to it. One specifically commented that my face had changed the most.

Now ( November 2009)

Exercise Quote from Evan Eser

Walking isn't a lost art -- one must, by some means, get to the garage. - Evan Esar

Thurday Double FEATURE Videos

The perfect Couple on Christmas - http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf 
Boy's FAVORITE Christmas Gift - http://www.fm95online.com/mornings.html

Revising My FITNESS Plan

In light of the increased temptation to munch this month, I’ve decided to be pro-active and try to increase my exercise.

Weekends: When I started this diet (January 2008), I gave myself the weekends off from exercise. That is until Thanksgiving, when I was trying to undo my excesses. I plan to continue walking 4 miles a day on the weekends.
The dogs love it. I went to the mailbox the other day and they pouted when I turned back to the house. They thought we were heading out. I’d been concerned that 4 miles was too much for them, but apparently I was wrong.
Another plus: I see more of my neighbors. Since my kids are away, I no longer run into people at high school functions. Since I started walking, I’ve chatted with several people I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. It’s nice.
I burn close to 900 calories over the weekend plus bonding with my dogs and the neighbors. Everybody wins.
It’s a good plan … until there’s a blizzard … or –20 wind-chill.

Treadmill: 4 Days a week

• 50 reps on the pullover arm machine at 40 pounds. (Should be more, but I’ve twisted or strained something, so am taking it easy.
• First 10 minutes – 15% incline ... 3 minutes at 3.6 mph .. 3 minutes at 3.7 mph .. 4 minutes at 3.8 mph
• Second 10 minutes at 14% incline .. 5 minutes at 3.9 mph ... 5 minutes at 4 mph
• Third 10 minutes at 13% incline ... 5 minutes at 4.1 mph ... 5 minutes at 4.2 mph
• End – 12% incline at 4.3 mph until I hit 400 calories burned.

I’m not sure how accurately the treadmill measures calories. It doesn’t take my current weight into account.
Every few months, I need to lop off the bottom number and add to the top. That is until I hit my goal weight.
I’ve found the treadmill is MUCH easier on Monday, now that I’m exercising over the weekend.

Pilate’s:  Classes start again in mid-January. An hour of Pilate’s burns about 300 calories. I can continue doing 3 nights on the treadmill and 1 of Pilate’s or switch to 2 each. I think the Pilate's would do my core more good twice a week, but it does burn fewer calories. OR I could do 3 nights on the treadmill, 2 of Pilate’s and zero nights off. I’ll decide in January

Wednesday Morning Weigh-In

191 today, but I hit 190 on Friday.  Then the weekend happened.  Sound familiar? 

Anyway, I am confident that I will get there.

FROZEN

I’m one of those people who focuses at work and forgets the rest of my life till I walk out the door. It has a downside.

It stormed here Tuesday and blew on Wednesday. Took me 2 or 3 tries to get in my drive. By Thursday, things calmed down and I was going to call Craig to plow … but I got busy at work and forgot. Consequently, it took another 2 or 3 tries to get in Thursday night.

By Friday, you’d think I’d have learned my lesson. Craig is 22, so I assume he’s not an early riser. I planned to call him mid-morning. Got to work. Got busy. Went to the gym. (Normally Friday is my night off, but I missed Tuesday and Wednesday.) Stopped by the grocery store, because we were out of dog food. (Going to the store when you haven’t had supper, but have walked a couple of miles on the treadmill is … bad … very bad.)

I didn’t think about my driveway again till close to 8, when I was 10 minutes from home. Oh well, I’d managed to get in the past 2 night. I could do it again, right? Wrong. The plow had been through and I couldn’t see exactly where my drive met the road. I rounded off the corner a little too much. So I said a few words and put it in reverse. It backed up a yard or 2 and stopped. Forward … inches. Backward … nothing.

Of course, I didn’t have the good sense to stop them. No, I had to spin my tires awhile. Finally, I decided to grab what I could (NOT the 40 pound bag of dog food), turn on my hazards (My left bumper was in the road a bit.) and head inside. Ate and changed clothes. A half hour later, the dogs and I headed back out. I dug and cussed, while several people slowed down to stare and then went on. After about a half hour, one of the gawkers stopped.
“Do you need some help, mam?”
“Oh, I was just an idiot. Lived here 30 years, but I turned too soon for the drive.”
“Well, that doesn’t mean you don’t need help.”

Sounds like a line out of a script, but it’s true. He hooked a chain to the back and pulled me out. I have no idea who he is. Since it was dark, I might not even recognize him in the daylight.

But I really appreciate it.

Anyway, I parked at the neighbors for the night. Their drive doesn’t drift shut. Saturday, I called Craig.

FUNNY Tuesday: THE COPING DIET

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day.

Breakfast

• 1 grapefruit
• 1 slice whole wheat toast
• 1 cup skim milk

Lunch

• 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
• 1 cup spinach
• 1 cup herbal tea
• 1 Hershey's kiss

Afternoon Snack

• The rest of the Hershey kisses in the bag
• 1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner

• 4 glasses of wine (red or white)
• 2 loaves garlic bread
• 1 family size supreme pizza
• 3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack

• 1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Diet Quote from Jenny Craig

It's not what you do once in a while, it's what you do day in and day out that makes the difference. - Jenny Craig

Milking a FIASCO

News in the new millennium is a 24/7 businesses. They need a new development every few hours to keep on top. This being said, I am sick to death of the Tiger Woods story. A wealthy man has a collection of affairs. How is this news? Every moderately attractive Jane Doe looking for her 15-minutes of fame has suddenly slept with the Tiger. When did he have time to play golf?

Yes, I was interested in the beginning – mostly because the solution seemed to be buying off the wife. Women have received jewelry or fur coats to compensate for marital mishaps for decades, but I’d never seen an outright cash settlement. It’s been a week. His mother-in-law's stomach cramps led the evening news. It’s time to move on.

I don’t care if Brittany Spears shaves her head, again.

I don’t care if Kanye West prefers Beyonce to Taylor Swift.

If the “balloon boy” does anything,

I DON’T CARE.

Monday's FAVORITE Website: Side Taker

Do you get tired of being politically correct and not taking sides? Here’s your chance and no on can get pissed off. Go it to http://www.sidetaker.com/

Fighting with your significant? Arguing with a friend, roommate, or co-worker? Who's right and who's wrong?  Air out your differences anonymously while letting people of the world give you advice and make the decision on who should apologize.

Let The World Decide Who's At Fault.

Diet Quote from Cyril Connolly

Obesity is a mental state, a disease brought on by boredom and disappointment. ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave.

FUNNY: Last Week on Late Night

'In light of the fact that Tiger has comported himself in a manner utterly lacking in character, dignity, and ethical integrity, I am withdrawing Tiger Woods from consideration for the Congressional Gold Medal and instead I'm recommending that he run for Congress.'" - A California congressman, Joe Baca, as quoted by Jimmy Kimmel

"Congress was hard at work today trying to come up with a fair playoff system for college football. Congress was working on this. Meanwhile, the NCAA spent the afternoon kicking around ideas for how to win the war in Afghanistan." -Jimmy Fallon

"The Salahis -- now these are the people that crashed the state dinner at the White House for the prime minister of India. It looks like they're going to be subpoenaed now by the House Homeland Security committee, and I'm thinking why bother? They'd probably show up anyway." -David Letterman

"Rush Limbaugh says black people are depressed because President Obama isn't doing a very good job. That proving, once again, that no one has their finger on the pulse of the African-American community like Rush Limbaugh." -Conan O'Brien

"Some people are upset about President Obama's prime time speech tonight because it bumped ABC's airing of 'A Charlie Brown Christmas,' or as Fox News reported it, 'Obama ruins Christmas for a depressed bald kid.'" -Conan O'Brien

"In his speech on the economy, President Obama said that we have to 'continue to spend our way out' of the recession. Now, I don't know much about economics, but aren't we like a trillion dollars in debt? Spending our way out of the recession? Isn't that like trying to drink your way out of alcoholism? I'm just saying." -Jay Leno

"New reports on Sarah Palin's 'Going Rogue' bus tour. They say she's been traveling on private planes to various stops and then just hops in the bus at the local town. So, let's see what you got. You have Sarah Palin, who's no longer governor, who's promoting a book she didn't actually write by going on a bus tour which is not really a bus. Her big complaint? Politicians who aren't real." -Jay Leno

"Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work." -Jay Leno

"Everybody's talking about President Obama's speech last night. He's sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. Right now, in Scandinavia, the Nobel Committee is really rethinking the whole peace prize." -Craig Ferguson

The FINGER of Hypocrisy

Do you have to be a hypocrite to be a good parent?

The snowplow woke me up at 5 a.m. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I went downstairs to hand wash the dish build-up. (Broken dishwasher - http://fatfamilyotherfwords.blogspot.com/2009/12/frenzy-of-broken-stuff.html ) At that time of day, there’s not much on TV – Roseanne, Angel or Crossing Jordan. I chose Roseanne. Always thought she was hysterical … partly because she is … and partly because my ex hated her. (Do the honesty points outweigh the pettiness debits in a remark like that?)

In this episode, Becky (the good girl) is in a yearbook photo flipping the bird. Suddenly, Becky’s friends think she’s cool and Roseanne is a bad parent. As expected, Becky is punished, but Roseanne and Dan did stuff like that at her age. Are they hypocrites?

If you were a perfect priss, then you may not have these problems. I wasn’t. I’ve tried not to sweat the small stuff. But when the small stuff gets big, would I have been better to catch it early?

EXAMPLE: Early in his junior year, my son wrecked a 30-year old pick up. The passengers were shook up, but no one was hurt. He felt horrible and I thought that was enough. 5 or 6 weeks later, he wrecked my car. Turned left in front of an on-coming vehicle and totaled it. If I had come down on him for the truck, maybe he wouldn’t have. But I had car mishaps at his age. Would being a hypocrite have been the right decision? I’ll never know.

FRIDAY FOTOS: First Snow

FIRST Blizzard of the Year

Sometimes, they beat storm warnings to death.

Local weather information is one thing that radio has. TV can interrupt your programs and annoy you. The Internet is frequently behind. When you work at a radio station, incoming storms cause a flurry of activity. Sometimes it’s all for nothing.

Yesterday night’s snowfall was predicted to be 6 to 12 inches. The temperature did not drop as fast as expected, so we got a lot of it as rain. Yes, the roads are a skating rink, but there’s less blowing snow.

I got up at 6:30 this morning, wondering if I’d be staying home. When I looked outside, it was clear. Feed the pets. Took a shower. Looked out again at 7:30 and couldn’t see across the road to my neighbor’s house. There’s 30 to 40 miles between the Mississippi River and me… and it’s flat as a tabletop. The wind can be furious. What snow we had, was air born.

I started making phone calls. The morning air staff is in by 4:30 or 5 a.m., so they’d had no problem. (Don’t feel too bad for them. They get to leave around lunch.) The people who live in town had no problem, because blowing snow isn’t an issue for them. Michele’s dad runs a snowplow. He told her to stay home for a few hours. I decided to follow his advice. About 10, she called to say she was going to try it.

To stay home or drive in bad weather? I never know if I’ve made a good call till I’m 10 or 15 minutes from home. Sometimes, I realize I’ve been a weenie and could have left earlier. Other times, the roads are worse than expected and I wonder if I’ve lost my mind.

I hit several patches of whiteout. Makes me nervous. Then, there was the idiot going 15 mph without his lights on. Now if that’s all the faster he can handled … well, he knows his own reflexes and tires … BUT he needs to turn on his lights. I was 3 car-lengths away, before I saw him. Pulled up beside him where I entered the highway, and he’s talkin’ on his cell. What if he hit a slick spot!