"Former President George W. Bush made his debut as a motivational speaker. Afterwards, Bush said, 'The crowd was so motivated, many of them left halfway through." -Conan O'Brien
"Bush is actually really good at motivating. Last year, he motivated everyone to vote for Obama." -Jimmy Fallon
Letterman on Palin:
"Former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, is promoting her new book and she's going to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show. ... Sarah and Oprah. On the one hand, a very powerful woman qualified to be President of the United States, and on the other hand, you have Sarah." -David Letterman
"But if you think about it, Sarah Palin and Oprah Winfrey have a lot in common. They both helped get Obama elected." -David Letterman
Leno on Obama:
"Well, according to CBS News, President Obama has played more golf in nine months than George Bush in nearly three years. Actually, Obama's a good golfer. You know what his handicap is? Joe Biden." -Jay Leno
"Some people are already criticizing the Obama's decision to cut the pay of the executives at companies that received bailout money. They say this could cause a lot of these guys to quit. Because you wouldn't want to lose the geniuses who lost us hundreds of billions of dollars." - Jay Leno
