FOOD is not love

In preparation for the long drive to Chicago, Beth wanted me to run by the store. I got 5 kinds of snacks. Every time I think I'm getting a handle on emotional eating, I do something like this.

Of course, Wednesday night, it snowed. We loaded up the car and parked at the neighbor's. Their driveway doesn't blow shut … unlike mine. Beth was so excited that she barely slept. We left Thursday at 7:30 a.m., and didn't pull into our motel till 2. It normally takes half the time. Only one lane was plowed for most of the way. The road sludge on my windshield was like driving in fog. I thought they fixed the washers. Wrong!
Thursday night, neither one of us slept well. Strange bed. Excitement. Nerves. I paced around the motel room Friday morning and stuffed a bunch of treats in her luggage (which the airline has lost, by the way). At 11, we went to the airport and met Whitney. I got us lunch at Mickey D's. The girls checked in. When they went through security, I had to say good bye. I watched her for a few moments, but just standing there was … well, I was going to cry and there's no point in that.
The drive home was a breeze. I was seriously doubting the decision to go up a day early, until Guy Morris called. He'd been by to dig me out. There were about 15 inches of snow in my driveway. (It's low and drifts.)
Then at home, the silence set in. My youngest child is on the other side of the globe. I want her to have this adventure, but I'll definitely miss her. We didn't eat very many of those snacks in the hotel, but I plowed through a lot Friday night.

FOOD is not love.

She called this morning. She's so tired and stressed that she's teary, but that'll pass. She will remember the next few months for the rest of her life.

FINDING a FOOD Opportunity

Image from http://www.worth1000.com/

I try to plan … really, I do. Yogurt plus fruit for breakfast = 200 calories. Mid-morning … a couple of cups of coffee with creamer = 100. Lean Cuisine for lunch = 300. Afternoon snack = fruit or a 100 calorie pack. That leaves 400 to 500 for supper and another 100 for an evening snack. That’s the plan.
Then life happens. This time of year, the break room is full of goodies … brownies … fudge … iced sugar cookies. The “have-one-and-then-stop” philosophy does not work for me. Once the taste is in my mouth, I think about it a lot ... too much.

I’ve tried avoiding the break room. On a busy day that works, providing I don’t get a coffee urge … and no one mentions it to me. If I’m out seeing clients all morning, the announcers may eat everything before I hit the office. They frequently start between 4 and 5 a.m. At 10 or 11 a.m., they get the mid-afternoon munchies.

I have very little resistance to temptation … particularly sweets. I do not have a good strategy for this, but next week it will be over.

How Restrained Was My FEASTING?

You see these articles all the time. “How to do” this or that, but do they REALLY live like that. Last week I wrote “15 Tips for Retrained Feasting. So I can talk the talk, but did I walk the walk? For the original article, go to: http://fatfamilyotherfwords.blogspot.com/2009/11/fifteen-tips-for-restrained-feasting.html  Here’s my tally:

1 - Don’t skip meals. No problem here.

2 – Indulge a little. The operative phrase is “a little.” I had one piece of pie on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Perhaps that has a little too much.

3 - Small plates. Been doing this for years. I don’t need a huge plate, so why use it?  It works year round.

4 - Pick protein. I like turkey, not a problem.

5 - Grab a garden. Good in theory, but fell apart in practice. Lisa invites me to her house when my kids are at their dad’s. She is a good midwestern cook, so there wasn’t a naked fruit or veggie to be found. Covered in marshmallows. Buried under cheese. It was delicious, but not no-cal.

My kids chose to have our dinner on Friday night. Since I worked Friday, Beth cooked. My rule for a 3 person Thanksgiving is one meat, one starch, one veggie and one dessert, but Beth wanted to make all her favorites. In addition to turkey, we had mashed potatoes from scratch, stuffing with apples and cranberries (m-m-m), baked sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, biscuits, gravy and apple pie. As a concession to me, Beth served marshmallows on the side for the sweet potatoes. I didn’t want to hurt her feeling, so yeah, I had a little of everything. She did a great job of cooking, but my diet was not in good shape.

Anyhow, I did NOT grab a garden, because no garden was available. Next year, I need to bring a dish that works with my diet. See point 10.\

6 - Less Booze. One glass of champagne at Lisa’s. One beer with my son. One glass large glass of eggnog. Not awful, but perhaps I should consider eggnog moderation.

7 – Don’t take a holiday from the gym. Again, it sounded good.  In practice, I missed the mark. Wednesday night, Beth and I went to the movie after work. Good News: No popcorn. Bad News: No Gym. Thursday, I got home from Lisa’s after dark. Friday, our dinner was right after work.  I tried to make up for it on the weekend by walking a total of 9 miles – 4 ½ each day. I’m not as fast as on the treadmill, but it must help.

8 - Sleep. Except for Black Friday, I want fine here.

9 - Relax. We-e-l-l-l. This is a stressful time of year in advertising.

10 – Bring what you need. Completely overlooked this one. I’ve always brought booze to Lisa’s. There’s no reason I can’t bring 2 things.

11 – Avoid temptation – literally. I didn’t go to buffets, but I do understand how tempting they are.

12 – Wait. Rather than loading up and going back for more, I gathered a moderately full small plate. Tried to eat slowly. (A problem for me.) And then waited a while before considering additional stuff. It did help. I tend to keep eating because others are. It’s not like I was hungry.

13 - Wear slightly tight pants. I’ve lost weight, so none of my pants are that tight. I did not wear elastic waists.

14 - Plan events that aren’t food focused. We did a movie. I wanted to do the early morning Black Friday thing, but neither child wanted to get up at dawn. Can’t say that I blame them.

15 – Avoid emotional eating. Not that emotional. I’ve been divorced a long time. A holiday without my kids is not a crisis. And really, it’s not WITHOUT, just relocated.

Summary: I totally missed what I should have done – bring something diet friendly. On the plus side, I tried to counteract it with exercise.

Quote for 9/26/09: Thomas Jefferson on Over Eating

We never repent of having eaten too little. ~Thomas Jefferson, 1825

Are You FAT Because You’re FAMISHED? (Part 2)

I used to weigh 270 pounds. No one is “hungry” enough to justify weighing that much. “Need” for food is not the reason you and I gain large amounts of weight. It’s all about DESIRE.

• DESIRE for a huge steak because it makes you feel important … king of the hill.
• DESIRE for ice cream because it means celebration and happiness … a reward, like “You got an A! Let’s get ice cream.”
• DESIRE for big steaming baked potato, because it makes you feel like home … warm and comfortable.

These foods are not bad. And if they are occasionally used for more than nutrition, what’s the harm? It’s a quantity issue. If you have increased to an unhealthy weight, then it’s time to change. First, look at what you’re eating.



What have you eaten in the past 24 hours that nutritionally you didn’t need?

• I had a latte between appointments this morning. At 100 calories, it’s better than the 400-calorie mochas that I love, but I still didn’t NEED it.
• About 3 this afternoon, I’m going to break into my stash of 100-calorie packs. It’s better than the Snickers bar (M-m-m) I would have had in 2007. Even better than yesterday, when someone left half a bag of chocolate chip cookies in the break room. Every time I filled up my water bottle, I snagged a few. Amazing how thirsty I was yesterday.
• And there’s the TV time snack. Clicking through the DVR burns 1 … maybe 2 calories. You don’t need to refuel. Yet we all do it. Last night at about 9, I had a sliced banana mixed with a 100-calories caramel pudding cup. You can make a case for the banana, but pudding is not a food group.
• A note on meat: You do not NEED a 12 to 16 ounce steak. 3-ounces of lean hamburger is plenty, if all you are considering is nutrition.

Secondly, it’s time for a little introspection. WHY are you eating? If it’s just a bad habit, it can be changed. Create a new one. Every habit had a starting point. Or is it more than habit? Are you using food to make yourself feel better?



Change 1: I don’t think I can eliminate all non-nutritional eating. That’s just not reality. But I can change the frequency, choices and serving size of the DESIRED foods.


Change 2: Change whatever it is in your life that makes you turn to food to address those desires. Either find other ways to handle it or think about why you have the need in the first place. Food is not there to solve your (or my) problems.