Exercise Quote from Chris Adams

People say that losing weight is no walk in the park. When I hear that I think, yeah, that's the problem. ~Chris Adams

FIXING my Weekends.

There are 2 places I’m going wrong on the weekends. The first I discussed on Monday – FOOD. Portions … selection … I was pretty far off all the way around.

The second place I was off track is exercise. In the beginning, going to the gym 3 times a week was enough … but then I weighed 270. Now, I have to do more, so I started walking on the weekends. My initial obstacle was I didn’t want to drive to the gym on my days off. Then it occurred to me. I have the beautiful outdoors waiting for me … well … right outside my door. I do walk a little slower, when I’m not on the treadmill; but better than I thought. I went 2 ½ miles in 40 to 45 minutes. I took some pictures, so I’m not exactly sure. A cold blowing rain or temps in the negative, may keep me indoors, but I’ll go when I can.

Sunday, a neighbor pulled up beside me on my walk. Told me a big footprint was seen about a mile from my house. The neighborhood thought it was a cougar. He suggested I quit walking.

Now, this is a great guy. Plows out my drive in the winter, just a terrific neighbor. If they find me dead on the back roads some weekend, well then, I should have listened to him. Still, I kept walking. It’s a late harvest this year, but the guys still have to hang around the elevators waiting to unload. They gossip … a lot. They think it’s “news,” but no, it’s gossip. It’s possible this really is a cougar. Maybe. Considering the deer population, it’s a very well fed cougar. Since it’s a cat, I assume it hunts at night. Anyway, I bring the pets in at night, so I guess we’ll be fine.

FRIGHTFULLY FUNNY: Halloween Humor Part Three

A Halloween Walk

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog, and he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER...

FASTER...

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

On his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup. Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,

(ready for this?)

The coffin stops.