Dog FOOD and Exercise

How would you feel if you carried around four 20-pound bags of dog food all day? DOG TIRED! 2 years ago, I used to weigh 80 pounds more and that’s how I felt. Run down. Exhausted.

Now I feel marvelous. Did I take a quick-fix pill or follow a fad diet? No, I just ate less and exercised more. That’s the only thing that really works.

Now that Beth is off to England, I’m getting back to business. I have 30 more pounds to go. It’s time to get busy.

I’m tweaking my exercise routine.

-- Monday and Wednesday, I’m on the treadmill.
-- Tuesday and Thursday, I take Pilate’s. It’s not as tough as last fall. I’m improving … slowly. When we’re on the mats, I can even touch my feet to the floor above my head. Not bad for 55.
-- Then (weather permitting), I’m walking 4 miles a day on Saturday and Sunday.
-- I get Fridays off. (I LOVE FRIDAYS!)

I want to push myself further on the treadmill.
First 5 minutes … 15% incline … 3.7 mph
Second 5 minutes … 15% incline … 3.8 mph
Third 5 minutes … 14% incline … 3.9 mph
Fourth 5 minutes … 14% incline … 4 mph
Fifth minutes … 13% incline … 4.1 mph
Last 5 minutes … 13% incline … 4.2 mph

Not bad for someone who used to be ready to die at 3 mph on the flat.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

FRIGHTFULLY FUNNY: Halloween Humor Part Three

A Halloween Walk

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog, and he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER...

FASTER...

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

On his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup. Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,

(ready for this?)

The coffin stops.

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