FEAR for Your FAMILY: Annie Le

In April of 2007, Seung-Hui Cho killed 32 people at VIT before committing suicide. In February 2008, a man walked into Cole Hall at Northern Illinois University and shot up a lecture. Six people died. Last Sunday, a missing Yale grad student’s body was found in the ceiling or wall of the university lab. It was Annie Le’s wedding day. The body count is lower, but this is still a parent’s nightmare. Is it any wonder we have trouble letting go?




The goal of raising children is to add a bright, interesting, productive human being to the universe … or something like that. No matter how good your intentions, you can’t insulate them with bubble wrap forever. The little birds have to fly free.



Even in normal times, this means uncomfortable conversations. I talked to my son about birth control after H.S. football practice. He chewed on his black mouth guard the whole time. It was distracting. I discovered he knew more about condoms than I did.



Since both kids are at college, these conversations have increased:

• People-you-meet-in-bars-may-not-be-that-nice-or-attractive-the-next-day
• Punching-the-door-after-your-roommate-didn’t-clean-the-bathroom-like-he-was-supposed-to-still-leaves-you-with-a-broken-hand
• The-person-you-love-in-high-school-may-not-be-the-person-you-love-later

Those chats are to be expected. (After the door-punching incident, I sang “he fought the door and the door won” all summer. No further lecture was needed.)



Oh sure, we’ve had “stranger danger” talks. It was even covered in pre-school. When looking at colleges, I asked questions about security, accompanied by eye rolls from both kids. But the man who killed Annie Le was not a stranger in the dark. But I don’t have any motherly wisdom for someone-you-see-every-day-may-try-to-kill-you.



I want to believe that most people are good and the world is a decent place. But some times it isn’t. A healthy sense of when to be suspicious is useful.



My heart goes out to Annie Le’s family and fiancé.