The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog.
Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded mashed potatoes
That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.
Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.
You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.
You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.
World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"
The “Biggest Loser” calls you.
Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.
Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.
You're sweatin' gravy.
You consider gluttony your patriotic duty
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