Dog FOOD and Exercise

How would you feel if you carried around four 20-pound bags of dog food all day? DOG TIRED! 2 years ago, I used to weigh 80 pounds more and that’s how I felt. Run down. Exhausted.

Now I feel marvelous. Did I take a quick-fix pill or follow a fad diet? No, I just ate less and exercised more. That’s the only thing that really works.

Now that Beth is off to England, I’m getting back to business. I have 30 more pounds to go. It’s time to get busy.

I’m tweaking my exercise routine.

-- Monday and Wednesday, I’m on the treadmill.
-- Tuesday and Thursday, I take Pilate’s. It’s not as tough as last fall. I’m improving … slowly. When we’re on the mats, I can even touch my feet to the floor above my head. Not bad for 55.
-- Then (weather permitting), I’m walking 4 miles a day on Saturday and Sunday.
-- I get Fridays off. (I LOVE FRIDAYS!)

I want to push myself further on the treadmill.
First 5 minutes … 15% incline … 3.7 mph
Second 5 minutes … 15% incline … 3.8 mph
Third 5 minutes … 14% incline … 3.9 mph
Fourth 5 minutes … 14% incline … 4 mph
Fifth minutes … 13% incline … 4.1 mph
Last 5 minutes … 13% incline … 4.2 mph

Not bad for someone who used to be ready to die at 3 mph on the flat.


Thursday, October 29, 2009

FRIGHTFULLY FUNNY: Halloween Humor Part Four




Signs Your Mobile Home is Haunted


1. Your can of Skoal mysteriously floats through the air.

2. Blood drips out of your simulated wood paneling.

3. The eyes on the velvet Elvis painting move.

4. The room is spinning, and you're not even drunk yet.

5. That car in your front yard isn't on blocks -- it's levitating by itself.

6. Your dog, Bo, gets sucked into the TV set, and he's blocking your view of rasslin'.

7. That mysterious scratching below the floorboards? The Telltale Raccoon.

8. The chain the ghost rattles is attached to his wallet.

9. You feel an eerie presence every time 'Freebird' plays on the radio.

10. The trailer is shaking, but there's no tornado in sight.

11. Your Dale Earndhart bed sheets have eyeholes cut in them.

12. The ghost is completely invisible except for the tobacco juice running down his chin.

13. Mysterious footsteps seem to be stomping out 'Achy Breaky Heart.'

14. There's a funny howlin' noise comin' from the corn crib -- no wait, that's just Jimmy.

15. You hear strange moaning - but only during Shania Twain videos.

16. You're missing four PBR's, and the missus only drinks Old Milwaukee.

17. The lights turn on and off even though you paid the power bill.

18. You hear blood-curdling screams, but both neighbors are still in jail.

19. You get a mysterious phone call that says, 'I know what you did last NASCAR race.'

20. Instead of saying 'Boo,' the ghost says 'Boo-ya'll!'

21. The veneer of window grime looks just like Calvin ... and he's taking a leak on YOU!

22. Instead of naked women, your playing cards, all of a sudden, have pictures of covered bridges on them.

23. The folks on Jenny Jones discuss domestic problems that eerily resemble your own.

24. You get a creepy feelin' and it ain't because that Richard Simmons is on TV.

25. You come home one day and it's ... clean!

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